Jodi Fedor at Exuberance

I am inspired by the possibility in women, by the power of our hearts and the depth of our passion. I am inspired by the things that move us to joy and the things that make us weep. I am inspired by women seeking to let go of their fears and learning to express themselves in way that honours their deepest hearts; I think it an amazing thing when one of us finds a way to let go of a boundary that has defined her and begins to move towards her fullest potential. I know that when one of us becomes more truthfully herself, we are all saved, because when we walk our authentic journeys, the entire world is better for it.

If you had looked at my blog last week, it would be logical to assume I was the worst blog-updater in the history of blog-updaters. My blog looked neglected and forgotten, a product of an ambitious start gone dry. So today, I'm cleaning out the cobwebs, deleting all the old posts, and starting fresh.

Funny thing is, I've written many blogs. My blogs are everywhere. They're tucked in my drafts folder, hidden in word documents, hand-drafted in pretty flower-covered notebooks and on spare scraps of paper tucked in jacket pockets. But they are not in the single most important spot - online.

I have good intentions; each time I write one, I think; "this is the day - this is the moment when I begin". But for many, many months not a single one has made its way online. Oh sure, I have good reasons: I don't have enough time, I want to make sure they're perfect, I'm not sure they fit the brand or that they express what I am trying to say properly, and damn-it - people keep pulling my attention away. And so I wait; and plan to post later. And later becomes later and later. And later. And here we are. An empty blog and me, ready to start.

What I know: reasons are one thing; but surface explanations often cover the real reasons why we hold ourselves back in life. It can be scary to turn around and look at what really keeps us from accomplishing all the plans and dreams we have for our future.

Most of us have this tendency in one area or another. I've seen it in many beautiful, brilliant women, this inability to honour ourselves by going full-heartedly after what we want and aspire to be. It isn't that we don't know what we want or need - for some it's losing weight, for others it's getting healthier or going to school, finding a new job, becoming more loving mothers - but knowing and doing are two different things.

We postpone and have perfectly reasonable explanations for why we can't do these things; "I don't have enough time, I need more experience, I don't have enough money, I need to update my resume". These are often legitimate reasons - but I also know that when we face our fears and honor what is true for us the world moves around us, and what was once impossible for us becomes both possible and necessary. When we make this shift and let our power create our lives all the reasons and circumstances in the world won't hold us back.

It takes courage to look at our fears, and to name them truthfully; in the depths of our heads they are big and scary. But in naming them, we gain power over them; we gain the ability to question their validity. And when we begin questioning them, they often fall like a house of cards around us. And sometimes they don't. And if they don't we know where we need to begin, rather than never starting at all.

Sometimes it just takes a first step - a willingness to look at the thing that scares us the most.
So here goes - I'll go first. In relation to my blog, I'm scared. I am scared of judgement, scared of running out of things to say, scared I'm not as good at writing as I think I might be. And this fear stops me from honoring my voice, from writing and sharing in a way that is important to me.

As exuberant women, I wish for all of us that we don't live by our fear, but by our strengths, that we love ourselves enough to go after our dreams, and to look after ourselves in the way that best serves our souls.

So.. today, tomorrow and next week; name that fear and face down whatever it is that is holding you back you from living the life of your dreams. You deserve this. And I'll do my best to keep up!

Love, love, and more love,

Jodi

Labels: Facing the Fear